


Battle for Love

by Rasnak (orphan_account)



Series: War fics [3]
Category: War (2019)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Author doesn't do well with fight scenes, Author is a fish out of water, Author is clueless on what she is doing here, Boys In Love, Canon Divergence, Denial of Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, Kabir has issues, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, OOC characters, Self-Esteem Issues, Some Fluff, Team Bonding, feels all over the place, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23558848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Rasnak
Summary: Years ago, Kabir had looked up to Abdul but got betrayal in return. And now, years pass and Khalid joins the team. Will history repeat or... will it change to something no one expects?
Relationships: Kabir/Khalid Rahmani, khalid/kabir
Series: War fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1687918
Comments: 51
Kudos: 18





	1. The Betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, new fic guys! Hopefully I'm going in the right track here... never attempted this kind of stuff so... please go easy on me.
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

"Guys, we've got our next mission. Kabir, Varun meet you for the debrief in one hour. We need to leave by this evening" Major Abdul Rahmani said, leaving no place for discussions as he stared at the two officers.

"Yes sir" they said in unison as they wrapped up whatever they were doing in favour of the debrief. The debrief was brief and to the point, allowing the soldiers to make arrangements and pack the necessary supplies before it was time to leave.

The mission in itself was quite simple. Go in, scout, capture the guy alive and come back. They all thought that it was a piece of cake. Until it wasn't.

Now that Kabir looked back to that day, everything pointed towards the downfall of the mission. It was so clear that no one knew how they were so blind not to receive the signals.

The minute they got off the plane, it felt as though there were many eyes on them. And that should've been the first warning sign. The alarm bells started to ring when they got into a cab and Abdul gave directions that were completely on the other side of where they were supposed to go.

"Updated location" he'd said and they'd been stupid enough to go along with that excuse. Well, it was valid but still, as experienced people, they should've known that something was amiss. But they'd believed whatever was said and unknowingly, walked into the trap.

The place seemed to be some sort of a dead end, it was neither a cliff, nor was it an open ground. Their gut just screamed at them to run away but they ignored it and moved ahead because the mission always comes first.

Things escalated pretty quickly from there... one second, it looked like Abdul was scouting and the next second, his gun was out and he'd shot Varun twice, right in the heart and managed to get a shot at Kabir, the bullet grazing his arm and Kabir acted quickly, rushing forward and tackling Abdul, still trying to catch up with the fact that he'd turned on them.

The fight was brutal. Punches and kicks traded everywhere and both of them where bloody by the time Abdul managed to get the upper hand and pinned Kabir to the ground.

"Kyon?" Kabir asked softly, just coming to terms that this wasn't the man he'd looked up to or worked with. This was a completely different man, who'd been hiding all this while and had finally shown his true colours.

"Kyon main yeh sab kar raha hoon? Yahi pooch rahe ho na? Badla, paise, the usual you know? I want to see the country burn. And if this is a small price to pay soldier, I'll gladly do it. Nothing personal" he said with a fake smile as he held out his gun again and quickly shot twice at Kabir's collar bone.

"Try and stop me" he said with a maniacal laugh as he sees Kabir trying to reach for the gun. Kabir could sense that his body was slowly shutting down from the blood loss and he renewed his efforts to reach for the gun.

"Aur haan... Goodbye soldier" he says as he points the gun at Kabir, ready to take the kill shot. But he hadn't noticed Kabir reaching for the gun near him and in a flash, it was pointed towards Abdul, his hands shaking as he tried to aim.

And Abdul made the mistake of staring into Kabir's eyes. Gone was the admiration and respect that Kabir once showed to him. All he could see right now was the anger simmering in Kabir's eyes and the steely determination as he steadied his hand. There was still a fire in his eyes, but it wasn't the fire to prove anything, it was the fire that would burn down the place, for revenge. Before Abdul could react, he'd pulled the trigger and shot Abdul, right in the eye.

"Just. To. Be. Safe" he pants as he sat up and shot the other eye, tears flowing from the pain and betrayal. He activated the come back up and said "Compromised" before all the strength left him and he passed out.

Later on, after he'd woken up, the doctors would say that he'd been lucky that the locals had spotted him and brought him in at the right time. But Kabir just felt empty, hollow as he'd just lost a loyal partner and the other had just betrayed him.

And this hollowness just made his heart a stone. The once energetic and quite care free soldier was now closed off, keeping everyone but a select few at an arm's distance. He often took on risky missions, preferring to go in solo for most of them.

That was until he got his own team, handpicked by himself as at one point, he started to realise that he couldn't go on like this path of self destruction he'd paved for himself.

Anyone who'd worked with him or trained with him earlier could easily spot the change. They often discussed about the sudden change among themselves, behind Kabir's back, often throwing him sympathetic glances. They often thought that this sudden change was due to his partner dying and being betrayed by the person who he'd looked up to. But little did they know... everything was going to change after a few years, the day when _he_ joined the academy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My first attempt at this type of fic so... I'm sorry if it sounds a bit... off. Please don't be hesitant to point out any mistakes. It's always appreciated. Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> UPDATED ON 9 APRIL 2020


	2. Struggles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The second chapter folks! Might be a bit OOC for Kabir but... I can't control my thought process in a story! I am quite an instinctual writer, I write down what I get at the moment and don't revisit it unless I need to refer so... prone to mistakes!
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

****The day Khalid joined the army, he knew that it was going to be a great struggle to reach the top, given his history and background. After all, he'd been facing it since the day it was announced that his abbu was a traitor to the world. Honestly speaking, he himself didn't believe that he would be able to come this far without his mother's support or her prayers.

As expected, if the others had hard work, he had double the work. People talking behind his back, often picking him out for demonstrations, all the jeering and badmouthing, the extra assignments and all those training sessions where he was told to achieve more than he could chew upon.

But he took it in his stride and bit his tongue as he completed what was given, striving to get to the top, determined not to let anything get in his way as he knew, one wrong move and he was out. And he didn't want to give the satisfaction to all those people by proving them that he was like his father.

And so he worked hard, day and night, trying to prove his worth to all the people out there, working hard to achieve the ultimate goal - to remove the dirt from his family name and bring back the honour that was lost.

And his hard work paid off when everyone, grudgingly, admitted that he was the best of their batch and was nothing like his father and he considered it as a win. But he still hadn't reached his goal - to get into the team of Major Kabir, the person he'd looked up to even before he joined the force, his inspiration.

And now he is standing there along with Colonel Sunil, waiting for Kabir to come back in order to talk about whether Kabir will take him into the team or not.

The first time he saw him approaching, he stood there, staring at him in awe like a fan would look at their star, excitement and hope surging through him. But it was suddenly dropped low when Kabir went through his file and looked at him in the eyes, asking "Main kyon team main is gaddar ke bete ko haath main hathyaar dekar leke jaaun?"

And something inside him snapped. "Permission to speak sir?" he asked the Colonel. When the permission was given, he looked into Kabir's eyes before speaking. "Mujhe bas ek chance chaahiye sir. Once chance yeh daagh mitane ke liye. Haan, mere abbu gaddar the, sabko woh nazar aa raha hai. Par main mere ammi ka bhi beta hoon. Bas mujhe ek chance dijiye please! I promise I won't let you down" he said, hope and determination in his voice.

Colonel Sunil, after looking at the two of them, dismissed Khalid, realising that Kabir needed some time and space to think about it. Khalid complied and left the place, leaving the two of them alone.

Kabir paced for a while before stopping before Sunil. "Can you please step outside while I make my decision sir? No offence par... I want to think it all out" Kabir asked curtly and he nodded, noticing the conflict on his face and left the place.

"Kuch kaha sir ne?" Khalid asked, hope in his eyes but was disappointed when he saw the Colonel shake his head. "Still making the decision. I did what I could do. The ball is in his court" he admitted and Khalid fisted his hands tightly, nails digging into his flesh as he silently prayed for his entry, for a chance to prove his worth.

His eyes glazed over at the thought of his mother, his pillar in those hard days, not letting him give up, always giving him the strength to fight, the one who believed in him even when he didn't believe himself. And the only thing she wanted from him was to bring back the family's honour, something that his father had brought down to dust. And he didn't want to let her down just because someone had rejected him for who his dad had been.

"Ek baath yaad rakh Lieutenant" he heard the Colonel say and he turned around to face him, pulling himself out of his thoughts. "Major Kabir... he never disclosed completely on whatever happened between your father and himself... Par whatever it was, it hurt him really bad. So thread carefully Khalid." he said and Khalid nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation.

Meanwhile, Kabir was pacing again in the room, clearly conflicted on what to do. On one hand, there was Khalid's achievements, which were clearly above the required skill set he searched for, and on the other was the fact that his father was the same person who'd tried to kill him, who'd killed his partner, who'd betrayed the nation, who'd... Kabir shook his head out of those thoughts, not wanting to spiral down there, not when he had a decision to make.

He could see the passion burning in his eyes as Khalid spoke to him, he could see the determination for earning back the family honour his father had lost, he could see the hope in his eyes when he asked why he couldn't accept him, the fire to prove himself... but there was that nagging part in his mind that always asked 'What is the guarantee that he wouldn't betray you? Gaddar ka beta hai, gaddar ho saktha hai'

But then there were the words he spoke. "Mera abbu gaddar tha, sabko woh nazar aa raha hai. Par main mere ammi ka bhi beta hoon. Bas mujhe ek chance dijiye please!" Khalid had pleaded and it still rung in his head.

Kabir finally sat down and held his head in his hands. The answer was right in from of him but yet, he was conflicted on giving his verdict and if there was one thing Kabir hated, it was being clueless. He almost felt like pulling his hair off his head but then sighed and stood up, walking towards the door.

"Colonel, a word with you please?" he asked and the Colonel nodded and stood up, patting Khalid on his shoulders before going towards Kabir.

"Your decision Major?" he asked, knowing very well that Kabir was still conflicted and wanted a second opinion. "I don't know Sunil." Kabir started and that set alarm bells inside his head as Kabir rarely called him by his name, unless he was in distress or had no clue of something.

"I mean, ek taraf I can see his potential, his passion, his fire par doosre taraf it's scary Sunil, the passion in his eyes... the admiration I can see... its soo familiar that... I don't want to let him down par..." Kabir rambled, panic slowly setting in.

"Par kya Kabir?" he asked calmly as he gently placed his hand on the other's shoulder. "Par I can't forget what his father did to me. Haan, main jaantha hoon ki they could be complete opposites but... its hard to get over that fact when..." he trailed off, not wanting to talk about it.

Sunil held back a sigh and shook his head. "You really need to talk about what happened that day soldier. It's slowly eating you up from keeping it inside you." he said.

"I can't! Kitne baar keh chuka hon ki yeh personal hai! It's not something I can tell about to anyone freely... I can't move on without some bloody answers and it is all stuck with a person who is bloody damn dead" Kabir shouted as he sat back down, breathing heavily after his outburst.

"Personally, I think you should consider taking Khalid into your team. Shaayad he is the only one who can get you to move on. Soch lo Kabir, iska pita gaddar the, but still he has reached here, a topper in everything, no less than anyone in your team. I know you could see his determination and hard work Kabir. What is it that is stopping you, other than the fact that his father betrayed you?" Sunil asked, wanting to get to the root of it.

"Exactly what you said sir, uska who determination, hard work, the way he looks up to me, even though he knows that I killed his father. Honestly sir, I don't want history repeating itself all over again." Kabir admitted.

"Maybe it won't soldier. Ek baar usko chance dedo. Har din agnipariksha dene ke liye tayaar hai who. In the end, its your call." he said. Kabir just took a deep breath and contemplated for a minute before nodding. "Ek chance doonga. Par ek bhi galti hua toh…" he said, leaving the Colonel to fill in the blanks.

Sunil nodded and smiled, that was all he'd wanted from him and left to give Khalid the news. "You're in soldier. As I said before, ek bhi galat kadham liya toh… Welcome to hell" he said with a pat on his back before leaving the place, the determined look in both Kabir and Khalid's face stamped in his mind.

Khalid, a soldier determined to right many wrongs and Kabir, a soldier who was determined to make life hell for the new recruit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well... if I hadn't warned before... people might be a bit OOC than expected... And Khalid is in, Kabir has a ton load of personal issues he ever got to sort out with Abdul. And the next is the first mission... Hope you all like it! All comments and criticisms accepted and appreciated! Prompts are always welcome!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> UPDATED ON 10 APRIL 2020


	3. The First Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Seems like I'm on a writing spree... ok, this might not have that detailed action sequences and all... might've got some details wrong but please put up with me here cuz I admit, I suck at writing fight scenes.
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes. 

**Note:** 'Silent communication/communication via eye contact'  
 _Flashback_

The first mission. That was all Khalid could think as he looked around the table as Aditi debriefed whatever information she had collected about the target. And he would be lying if he said he didn't feel nervous, especially with the looks Kabir was giving him right now.

He didn't know what to think of it as. As the Colonel had warned him, it was hell. It seemed like Kabir was going all out on him, like he was taking revenge for whatever his abbu had done and he didn't know what to think of it.

And now? The way he'd been staring at him throughout the debrief was unnerving him and was making him quite uncomfortable. It was almost as if Kabir was expecting him to make a wrong move during the mission. Kabir smirked as he saw his uneasiness and proceeded to look towards the rest of the team, noting all the points they were giving.

He finally said "This guy is our mission. A wanted terrorist who we've been behind for a very long time. Any mistakes or slips, I will consider it a personal attack against me. Do you get it?" he said to everyone but eyed at Khalid, like he was trying get that point through him and Khalid shifted uneasily, muttering a "Yes sir" with the rest of the team.

So they planned, the main plan, the back up plan and its own back up plan and the whole time he could feel Kabir's eyes on him, almost like he was trying to judge him, find any mistakes or wrong moves, correcting any flaws that he could see and finally, they were ready.

Everything went along smoothly, everyone got into their roles seamlessly and they just waited for the signal from Kabir to attack. And when the signal came, they busted the place with quite pomp and splendor.

The fight also was quite short and Khalid cursed as someone took him unaware from the behind. He could sense Kabir watching each and every move of his from wherever he was fighting. He knew that it was a test for him to prove himself and he most likely was failing miserably with the way he was missing the people who try and attack him on the side of his blind spot.

He felt someone suddenly push him from behind and was taken by surprise when he found himself on the ground with a gun in front of his face. 'Shit, thanks dad' he thought bitterly as he waited for the gun to shoot when suddenly the guy fell down, a knife poking out of his neck.

And then Kabir was standing above him, hand held out and he just stared, surprised. 'Arey, are you going to get up or not?' his eyes seemed to ask and Khalid almost blushed as he took his hand and got up.

'Now go and be careful. I won't be there to save your ass all the time' Kabir conveyed silently as he took out the next guy who was heading to attack Khalid from behind. It went on like that, everyone having the other's back when they didn't notice something until the boss entered the scene.

'Go and prove yourself now. Or are you going to back off now?' His eyes taunted him.  
'Up for the challenge sir' he shot back as he charged towards the target. And as expected, he fell back down hard after getting a few hits in.

Kabir just shook his head and sighed, heading in to take his own hit before realising that he had underestimated the guy as he quickly recovered from Kabir's hits and pushed him back, the unexpected punches causing him to lose balance and fall back next to Khalid. 

'What next?' Khalid's eyes seemed to ask.  
'Go in for round two, obviously'  
'But...'  
'Scared now or what? Want to back off?' Kabir asked with his eyebrows raised. The target seemed to be impatient and roared, wanting a challenge. 

'Well, going to go or not?'  
'Ok fine! I'll go' Khalid implied with a sigh, immediately followed by a cough as it seemed like his ribs had taken a pretty hard hit in the last round. And charged, again, determined to not let Kabir down as he gave all his strength in attacking the guy relentlessly, finishing it off with a pretty hard hit on the other guy's head that should've knocked him out.

'Satisfied? I did it' Khalid seemed to say with a broad smile on his face and Kabir couldn't help but chuckle at the enthusiasm and eagerness before shaking his head with a smile.  
'Look back, it's not over yet' he conveyed, jerked his head in warning. The smile on Khalid's face waned as he looked back at the looming figure behind him, who was more than happy to knock him down again.

And Kabir retaliated back as, whether he liked it or not, Khalid was still a teammate and was his responsibility. And it got over quite quickly and the whole team dealt the final blow, having been able to wrap up the rest of the guys by the time Kabir started his second round of attack. 

The whole team let out a loud cheer of victory before wincing, finally acknowledging the fact that they need to visit the medics for patching up before heading back to base. Kabir just shook his head at their antics with a small smile and followed them. Maybe... having Khalid in the team wasn't that bad except... they'll need to talk about keeping vital things secret...

When they all came back from the mission, elated by their success, Kabir allowed the team to have a small celebration for the sake of the newbie and joined them for a few minutes before excusing himself from the circle around the campfire and heading back inside.

The moment he was blanketed by the loneliness though, he let the mask drop and sighed, running a hand along his face. This Khalid is turning out to be more and more like him and honestly speaking, it was scaring the shit out of him as even if it was a traitor's son, he wouldn't want to wish his life on that kid. He still had an ounce of innocence left in his body and Kabir wanted it to remain that way.

He sat down and poured himself a drink, not wanting to face the memories that were sure to hit him any time soon. They always do, especially now that his son is on his team... ah, there it is.

_Kabir was on his first mission and honestly, he wouldn't tell it out loud but he was rather very excited and wanted to prove that he could work well with the team and wasn't all that scared to go on the mission._

_It was a simple scout and capture kind of thing. The team had then consisted of 5 members - the then Captain Rahmani, who was the leader, Varun, Vaibhav and Abhinav and last but not the least, the newest recruit, Kabir._

_Well... Both Varun and Kabir were sort of the newest recruits, Vaibhav and Abhinav - the twins, they'd already worked under the Captain before but they preferred to go on solo missions more._

_It had been going on quite smoothly, they all had eyes on their respective targets and they were about to capture them when Varun had slipped and it had notified his target about the fact that he was indeed being followed and has in turn informed his buddies to check out for tails._

_And they all tried to get to the discussed point so that they could fend them off... but when do things go as planned? More people started flowing in from the sides and they were all trapped, he five of them back to back, surrounded by at least 50 people._

_For the first time since agreeing to go on the mission, Kabir felt fear. He glanced at Abdul, doubt clearly written all over his face and Abdul glanced back with a raised eyebrow. ' Planning to back down now?'_  
 _Kabir shook his head and raised an eyebrow in return. ' No way. What is the plan now?'_  
 _Abdul silently looked at them all and whistled to get the others attention before lightly shaking his head. ' Look at me but don't lose focus on the people in front of you'_  
 _The whole team nodded and waited for the instructions. Abdul slowly let his eyes wander around and tilted his head and the team nodded in understanding. ' Be _ _careful. We can finish them off easily if we cooperate'_

_And all this discussion was done in a minute, without any words and the minute they faced the crowd again, they were ambushed. Bullets rang, there was a lot of groaning and cracking and shouting as they concentrated on taking them down one by one. 5 against 50... not an ideal scenario but they were determined to come out of it in one piece._

_Kabir quickly looked around as he finished off the guy in front of him and cursed as he noted that he was out of ammo. He quickly grabbed a knife from a nearby person and ran to help Abhinav, who seemed to be quite overwhelmed. "Varun" he shouted as he noticed someone sneaking behind him and threw his knife towards the person and jerked his head. ' I need a lift' He nodded and kneeled down, cupping his hands to form a step to give Kabir the lift he needed._

_Kabir ran and stepped on the makeshift step as Varun lifted him off and turn quickly to fend off the guy who'd tried to take advantage of him being down. Varun had given him the required force to take down the guy who'd tried to sneak up behind Abhinav and he got to work immediately, waving off the thanks he could spot in the other guy's eyes._

_Five minutes later, nearly all the men were down so the team just took deep breaths as they took in each other's condition. 'It was quite bad, but it could've been worse' Kabir thought as he looked at them._

_Captain had a gash on his upper arm and some bruises, Abhinav most likely had a concussion from the piece of wood that had been slammed onto his head and a few scratches and bruises, Vaibhav fared a bit better than his brother with a gash on his leg and a few scratches, Varun had been lucky and had escaped with a bunch of scratches and bruises._

_He himself on the other hand... he looked down at himself and shrugged when Abdul gave him a questioning look, nothing looked bad per say, he also had some bruises and scratches, his shirt torn at places like the rest of them... but nothing serious that he needed to back off._

_And then came the leader in all his glory and all of them had to fight off a groan at the sight of him. They all looked at each other and silently started an argument of who is going to fight the guy first._

_' You go first'_   
_'Not me, you go on and do it'_   
_'Why me? Let the newbie at him!'_   
_'Don't look at me, not in the condition to fight that bulldozer'_   
_'You up for the challenge? A chance to prove yourself?'_

_And Kabir held back a sigh, the Captain was hitting all the right spots. He slowly got up and went towards the guy with all he had, only to be pushed back forcefully. And slowly everyone took their turns to take a shot, only to be pushed back in a similar manner._

_' Scared?' Abdul's eyes seemed to taunt at him as he looked for further directions. 'Seems like we can't go against him alone...' Kabir conveyed with a shake of his head._

_' Then let's hit him together!' Varun's eyes seemed to scream as if it was the most obvious thing, which it was. They all slowly got up together and glared at the guy, before nodding at each other and they ran forward in sync and punched him together, finally knocking the guy out._

Kabir shook himself out of his thoughts and sighed, his spine chilling at the similarities he had spotted in today's fight, the familiarity hitting him hard as he downed the rest of the drink. He really needed to tak with Khalid about what had happened today.

He slowly got up and moved back outside to enjoy the cool breeze outside and to listen to his teams chatter before freezing. Khalid wasn't there with the rest of the team. He let his eyes roam around the place where he spotted him and gave out a sigh of relief only to freeze up again when he spotted who he was talking to. Seems like his ghosts will never leave him alone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here's to hoping that I haven't messed up the chapter! And a glimpse of Kabir's first mission with Abdul Rahmani. Won't be doing many flashback sequences but.... I think the situation today demands this thing as an explanation for Kabir's fears... well he really needs to face it/talk to somebody about it... 
> 
> Hope you all the chapter! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome! And posting it via tab is a bitch
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> UPDATED ON 11 APRIL 2020


	4. Approval

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Kabir seems to finally approve Khalid... and some mom son time!
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

When the soldier had informed him about someone waiting for them outside, Khalid was overjoyed as he stood up to go and meet her. He had no doubt about who it might be. The person who always supported him, believed in him when he was down, his rock of support... his ammi.

Khalid eagerly went out and hugged her, greeting her with a gentle smile. "Salaam" he finally said, breathing in the oh so familiar smell their home and... Khalid furrowed his brows and leaned back, silently questioning her.

"Dargah gayi thi. Bohot dua maangi sab ke liye. Isko share karna sab ke saath" she said as he handed over a box. "Mere liye kya maangi?" he asked, knowing her answer very well.

"Himmat." "Aur aapke liye?" Khalid asked, knowing very well what she was going to answer again. After all, it was her dream since a very long time. "Izzat" she said seriously. "Aap se hi mujhe himmat milti hai ammi. Aur woh samay avashya aayegi ammi. Bas thodi dher wait karni padegi." he said with hope in his voice as he pulled her into a hug again. 

She just smiled warmly and patted him on his back and Khalid tried to keep back the wince that was coming out but he didn't succeed as she pulled back and scanned him, mama bear mode, as he liked to call it, becoming activated. "Yeh kya hua?" she asked, worry filling her voice as she noticed all the cuts and bruises.

"Kuch nahi ammi, bas ek mission tha. Aur log bol rahe hai ki main hi man of the match hoon uspe" he said proudly. "Khalid, in my office after you're done. Kuch zaroori baath karni hai" Kabir suddenly said and Nafeesa stared at him, trying to convey her message and Kabir nodded, signifying that he'd received it.

"Is he very harsh on you?" she asked in concern. "Nai ammi, he actually helps me out a lot. Haan, thoda strict hai par... nothing I can't handle. Expectations hai na?" he said with a fake smile. Nafeesa just frowned but left it at it.

Khalid leaned down for one last hug and she kissed his forehead. "Toh phir ab tum jaa beta. Baad mein baath karlenge" she said with a smile and he turned back and went towards the office, an inkling of what they were about to discuss running around in his mind.

Nafeesa Rahmani... A strong woman with a really high will power. A woman who put up with all the jeers and taunts that came their way when Abdul Rahmani was named a traitor. And all these years have definitely had their effects on her... judging from the wrinkles on her face and the greying hairs. A very strong willed woman she was.

He'd only met her once, the time when he had to mention to her about Abdul's betrayal and subsequent death. But that one time was enough to know that she was a woman who could stand up for herself and will do anything for her son, no matter what.

He hated that he had to break up the mother and son talk but... he just wanted to get over with the discussion and retire for the day. He could literally sense the headache that was forming right now... though he exactly didn't know what was the cause of it. Was it the memory? The similarities? Was he tired? Or... nope, not going there he thought as he saw Nafeesa eyeing him, clearly asking to protect her son and he nodded, after all, he was a part of his team.

He headed back inside as he saw the mother and son bid their farewell. Soon, there was a knock at the door and Khalid was asking his permission to enter, which he gave. "Bhaito." he said as he saw Khalid shifting uncomfortably, unsure of why he was called.

"Aaj toh you did very well, even though it was only your first mission... I'm impressed" he admitted and saw a smile break onto Khalid's face. "Par... I also noticed your flaws" and he saw the light in his eyes dim, taken over by resignation, as if he knew what he was about to point out. 

"But, you hid something from me Khalid. All the hits you missed, they were on your right side. You have a blind spot on your right peripheral vision, don't you?" Kabir asked, facing Khalid, who was staring at the floor, fiddling with his fingers.

"And honestly Khalid, I don't think I can keep you in the team with this disability" Kabir said and Khalid looked up and blinked in disbelief, hope starting to shatter. "But sir..."

"I can't take the risk Khalid. This team here, this is my family. They are my responsibility. Your handicap may cost me their life, Khalid. Before you protest, I do agree, maybe you can manage but... agar kuch hua toh main uskeliye responsible hoonga. I will be the one who will be questioned. So I guess it is better if you leave Khalid." he said, looking at Khalid seriously.

It wasn't like he didn't believe that Khalid couldn't handle himself, he'd proved that today when he was fighting. But there was also a team to consider of here. As he'd said today, he won't be able to save everyone's asses if they are in trouble all the time. And when he can't see them... he shuddered to think about it. He'd already lost a family once and he can't afford to lose this family he was building up after a really long time...

His first family - the birth family, everyone died before he hit his teenage years. The second family - his first team, his partners: Abdul and Varun, one partner was killed by the other, who was in turn killed by himself. And now this is his third family and he can't...

He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard Khalid mumble something. "Kya?" he asked, facing him and saw the bitter sweet smile that adorned his manly face along with a crestfallen look... wait manly?

"Yeh toh mera baba ka tofa hai mere liye. Gaddar the na? School mein some of them ganged up on me. Bohot maara unhone aur main chupke usko leli. Those words still ring in my ears 'Gaddar ka beta. Gaddar ka beta' bolte bolte maare mujhe aur ek maar aankh mein padi. Doctors ne kaha ki I'll be partially blind in that eye" he recounted, wiping away a tear that threatened to fall as Kabir silently listened to him.

"Us din, mera himmat poori tarah toot gayi. Lekin ammi ne mujhe himmat nahi haarne di. Humesha bolti thi ki log humesha kuch bolenge, hume pitaayenge, par har ek ko hum jawab dene padenge, zindagi bar. This is not the first time, nor the last time it will happen. People will always doubt us. Lekin iska matlab haar maangna nahi hai, balki isse tum kudh ke liye ladna seekhna hai, to prove to them that you are not who they think you are." Khalid said, eyes quite misty and a soft smile on his face.

"Jaantha hoon sir ki yeh kamzori ke saath you can't trust me to have your back. Par mera nishaan kamzor nahi hai sir. Bas ek chance deejiye mujhe." he said with confidence, determination in his eyes.

Kabir just stared at him, surprised by the determination and dedication that could be seen in his eyes. Yes, he knew that he was hard working and determined but... a dedication to this level was hard to find, especially considering who his father was...

Keeping a straight face he stood up, staring down at Khalid with the eye of a hunter. "You know... jab Colonel ne mujhe tumhara file ke saath mere paas aaye the, maine socha ki tum gaddar ke bete ho, gaddari toh tera khoon mein hai. I was just waiting for you to take the wrong step" he said, deliberately pausing there in order to intimidate Khalid and judge his reaction. 

He then marvelled at how easily he could read his expression all the time, it was like his eyes were a door to his soul as people say, open and expressive. 'He would definitely need to train him out of it' he thought as he saw the fallen look and the silent sigh he gave off, one that signified defeat.

"Par tune mujhe galat saabith kiya. You proved that you are your ammi's son." he admitted, both to himself and Khalid, whose head shot up so quickly that he feared that he'd strain his neck, well, the docs had told him to not strain it after all.

"And not many people get a chance to say out loud that Major Kabir was wrong about something" he joked and saw Khalid smile in joy, surprise clearly evident in his eyes. "Just remember to keep your partner on your right, not the enemy." he said as he patted Khalid on his back.

"Just remember that I am taking a chance with you regarding this Captain. Don't let me down." he said seriously, searching Khalid's face for something as he saw Khalid stand up and nod eagerly.

"Never sir. I'll give it my best" he said, standing tall as he looked straight into Kabir's eyes. "Welcome to the team Captian. You are dismissed" Kabir said with a nod and Khalid saluted before turning back, a slight jump in his step.

"Aur haan, try to control your facial expressions better. Sab dikh raha hai tumhare muh pe saaf saaf. Mission mein it won't help you" he said when Khalid turned back. Khalid just blushed in embarrassment as Kabir let out a short laugh. "Jao abhi, I'll help you with it" he said. 'Maybe keeping this guy here won't be bad after all' he thought, 'Especially if he is going to react like this always'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ik, took some time to get the chapter out... didn't know how much to let out and basically what I should do as I am quite new to these types of fics so... yeah. Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts accepted!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 14 April 2020


	5. Khalid's Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Welp! Fish out of water here soo... took a while. And this chapter has been broken into two folks! Had to get it out before I drag it out too long...
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

Days passed and the team slowly settled into a routine with Khalid included in it. And well, Khalid for one felt like he was at home. Don't get him wrong, any place with his mom is always his first home but this... where people aren't judging him for who his father was... Kabir did initially, he wouldn't deny that, but now? Everyone seemed to accept him for who he is and get along with him... be friends with him... he felt like it was heaven.

It almost seemed surreal for him to be in a place where he was treated like an equal (eventually, the initial days were hard on him) and not be jeered and bullied for who his dad had been... it was almost like he'd finally found his place and he was happy with it.

Kabir and Khalid started interacting more and it seemed like Khalid had finally earned Kabir's trust to an extent when he saw Kabir open up a tiny bit and enjoy around him, even feeling free to let lose and dance with him during Holi... the rest of the team swore that the two of them had something else going on judging by how close they were to each other, and because they've never seen Kabir loosen up this way before Khalid entered the scene.

And Khalid had noticed this. He'd often see his teammates betting on who will take the first step or how long will it take for the two of them to get together and stuff but he brushed it off, thinking that a) He didn't feel that way towards Kabir and b) Even if he did, there was no guarantee that Kabir will reciprocate his feelings as... you know... his father was a traitor and they were in the same team. And relationships within teammates is technically frowned upon...

But the more he thought about it, the more obvious it started to become. He could sense that shift. He often caught himself sneaking glances at Kabir, secretly staring at the way the muscles moved smoothly, the way they flexed while he exercised, and often wishing to just run a hand through those muscles and scars, the way his lips parted while working out... that was the day Khalid realised that he was a goner. He was starting to feel more than what is usually acceptable towards his mentor, his idol and he didn't know what to do.

That night, he lay down on his bed, trying to sort out whatever he was feeling. True, he'd had an admiration for Kabir even before he joined the academy. If he is correct, since the day he accepted the fact that Kabir had just done his duty and maybe had saved them from greater harm. It did leave a stigma but... maybe it could've been worse if he hadn't killed his dad that day... and that was the day he aspired to become like Kabir, dedicated to serve his country without any hesitation. And if it also wipes off the stigma that his father had given the family... its just a plus.

He wouldn't deny the fact that life had been quite hard for himself and his mother since his father had died a traitor. They often had to move from place to place, people always had something rude and snide to remark, some schools refused to admit him, some others turned a blind eye to the bullying that happened. He'd no friends growing up, no one wanted to be the friend of a traitor's son after all...

And if someone says that these doesn't have an impact on a person's self esteem and confidence? They were utterly wrong. The downside of getting bullied and pushed around without someone to help is unfortunately making the mind quite a dark place, making one believe that maybe, they aren't worth it, it dampens one's spirit, makes you believe in things that might not be true about you...

Honestly, he might've succumbed to these dreadful thoughts if not for his mother, his pillar of support, the ray of sunshine in his dark days. She always encouraged him to stand up and get moving, often hiding her own pain and showing him how to be strong. If he is where he is today, it's all because of her. And maybe his determination on making it into Kabir's team. It's surprising as to how one goal can change your life...

Right, back to the topic in hand... his infatuation on Kabir sir. To be honest, the moment he realised that he felt something more, de knew for sure that it wasn't just an infatuation. It might seem like it now, but he was sure that it wasn't going to go away any time soon, rather it will grow into something more... A something which he wasn't sure about what to do with when the time comes.

But for now? He's just going to go about his daily life and ignore whatever feeling sprout he's going through in favour of gaining Kabir's trust. But he didn't expect to revisit his feelings this soon...

It all started with the second mission of theirs... the second major one anyways. They always had the minor missions that mostly involved just scouting around and such things. Another mission to bring in some bad guy, but it seems like they had been expecting them because they'd walked straight into a trap that had been cleverly set up by them.

And that's how they found themselves in this situation, all of them tied up to poles and being interrogated one by one for some information that he was sure no one would give up. He looked around, taking stock of the situation and frowned when he couldn't spot Kabir. He cursed as he struggled against the bonds he was probably in his blind spot or a room in that direction, judging by the grunts that came from that very side.

He could feel his wrists burn from constantly struggling against the ropes and from the difficulty he's currently having to breathe, probably from being stretched backwards for who knows how long. "Come one" he gritted as he twisted his hands and thanked his luck as he caught an end of the knot.

He struggled with it for a while, wincing as he strained his bruises while bending back more so that he could loosen the knot. He wiggled his finger around, trying to get it into one of the gaps so that he'll be able to get out of the bonds, hands twisting in ways that can't be considered normal. When he got a finger in, he pulled on it, praying that he'd gotten the right knot that could loosen the ropes around his wrist at least a bit.

He tried to school his emotions so that he wouldn't give away his pain, taking in deep breaths to calm himself down, biting his tongue to keep in the groan, just like Kabir had taught him. He did end up loosening the ropes on his hand but he had to bite back a scream as he heard a small crack and the pain that immediately shot through him.

He made it quick, ignoring the throbbing from the broken finger as he got off the ropes and bending down to untie the ropes that bound his legs before moving silently towards the person next to him, who happened to be Aditi, asking her stay quite so that they don't give away the fact that they've got out of their bonds.

Cutting the bonds for the rest of them might be quite might just prove to be a time waste for now as they were either heavily wounded or unconscious from the beatings. The two of them slowly made their way outside, looking around for the guards and waited for them to pass by them so that they could take them down and take the weapons off them.

They silently were able to take down two guards that came their way, they took the guns and Khalid asked Aditi to keep guard while he goes in to rescue Kabir as he knew the moment he broke through the door, people will start flowing in and someone had to be there to fight them off and protect the rest of the team, which was currently down.

He broke in without any delay, taking advantage of the surprise and shock he could see from the sudden noise and shot them down quickly before cutting through Kabir's ropes. It was then he could see the state he'd been in, a bloody face, shirt ripped open in places with blood slowly oozing out of them and it filled Khalid's heart with rage as he saw Kabir slump down when the ropes fell down.

Kabir then blinked slowly and stared up in surprise when he saw the hand extended towards him and looked up to see Khalid standing, a bloody smile on his face. Khalid couldn't decipher it but he could see something flash in Kabir's eyes as he looked at him before taking the hand.

Kabir shifted unsteadily as he tried to balance himself, causing Khalid to look down and see a gash that extended from the knee to mid thigh. He slung an arm across his shoulder, making sure that the bad leg was placed on his leg at least for the time being. "Mujhe yahi chhod do, I will manage" Kabir slurred slightly, still trying to get his bearings. 

"Yeh team ek family sir, nobody is left behind" Khalid said as he passed on the gun to Kabir before taking another gun and a knife, just to be safe and went out into the madness, supporting Kabir. It was quite a slow progress initially as it was hard to fight hand to hand when you are busy supporting your teammate. 

That was only for a short time though as Kabir was soon on his own feet, fending off the attackers on his own, Khalid keeping his back just to be sure so that he'll be there to support Kabir if needed. From then, everything was a quick work as they took everyone down without mercy as whoever hurts this family, they are hit back, hard.

The minute the last person fell down, they all paused to take a deep breath as they took in each other's condition. The rest of them had woken up towards the end of he commotion and had joined in the fight. Everyone was in a pretty bad shape, but alive. As the adrenaline crashed, Khalid could feel every inch of his body throbbing and looked down at the knife protruding out of him, slowly bleeding out. He started feeling woozy, probably from the blood loss and the pain that burst through him and started swaying, black spots dancing in his vision as he heard everyone shouting out his name.

"Mujhe kuch nahi..." he started as he promptly felt backwards into Kabir's arms, the final thing he heard was Kabir calling out his name.

When he woke up in a hospital bed with all of his team, except Kabir around him, he was quite worried and made a move to get up, only for the rest of them to push him back onto the bed. "Kabir sir is fine, he'll be out soon. You on the other hand... Good luck." Aditi said mysteriously before they all filed out, leaving a confused Khalid behind.

He later came to know that he would be stuck to the bed for at least a week so that he wouldn't put any strain on the knife wound, a broken finger as he'd suspected, a badly sprained wrist and a ligament tear near his ankle. Only if he'd known why he needed the good luck...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for the help girlwithpassion! Damn, this was one tough chapter to write and I have a few similar ones in store... It's gonna take a while then :( Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts accepted!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 18 April 2020


	6. Kabir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Kabir's POV of the previous chapter.... plus some things...
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

Days passed and Kabir watched as Khalid started to fit seamlessly into the team almost as if they'd known each other for a long time. The team had taken an instant liking for him, his personality being a breath of fresh air in the usually stern and serious environment.

And it seems like his energy and zeal was infectious, as since the day he joined, he'd noticed a change in his team... All of them seemed to have a new vigour, a sort of joy and childishness that radiated from Khalid which slowly spread to the team, making them laugh and relax, forgetting their present for a moment.

And Kabir would be lying if he said that it hadn't affected him also. He would loath to admit but... the innocence and somewhat carefree attitude had an effect on him to loosen up just a little and not be that serious all the time.

It did feel a bit strange that he was getting close to the son of a person who'd back stabbed him and the country but... it was impossible not to take a liking to Khalid, not when he looks so cute whenever he blushes... 'Wait cute?' Kabir thought as he looked at Khalid while they were dancing during Holi but brushes it off as a one time thing... but not for long.

The mission, a simple plan that went horribly wrong as they had been stupid enough to underestimate their target and fall into a very cleverly laid trap, Kabir might grudgingly admit if asked.

And that's how he's now tied up to a chair tightly, tortured by people to let out some information, his teammates being dragged in one by one in hopes that Kabir will open his mouth if they are harmed. But Kabir's mouth only opened to swear against them for hurting his family and how there will be a payback, which only aggravates them more and in turn beat him up.

This process goes on, Kabir slowly reduced to slurring out his swears from the repeated hits to his head and the chest and a sudden fear grips his heart when he realised that it was either Aditi or Khalid who will be brought in next and he tried to get out of the bonds even more vigorously for reasons he didn't know why, causing them to give him a nice cut on his leg that slowly oozed out blood.

There was a sudden commotion outside, lots of yelling and shouting could be heard but before anyone could go and investigate about it, the door slammed open and Khalid had come in, guns blazing as he shot down everyone. All Kabir could do was just blink in surprise as he felt his bonds being cut open and he slumped to the ground as he couldn't handle the sudden shift in weight.

He blinked again as he saw a hand stretched out in front of him and looked up to see Khalid with a literally bloody smile on his face... and probably a dislocated finger by the looks of it. The look in his eyes, a mix of fire, anger, softness and... love? was so intense that it sent shivers down his spine and he had to control the emotions that were trying to overwhelm him as he let out a silent breath to steady himself got up with the help of Khalid.

He tried not to wince at jolting the wounds and pain shot up his leg via the recent cut, making it difficult to find his bearings again as he shifted around unsteadily. He suddenly felt a hand on his, slowly slinging it onto the other man's shoulders before he shifted slightly so that Khalid was supporting Kabir.

"Mujhe yahi chhod do, I'll manage" he slurred, forcing down a blush of embarrassment as he realised that this will only cause Khalid to slow down. "Yeh team ek family sir, nobody is left behind" Khalid confident said in reply before passing on a gun towards Kabir before picking up another gun and a knife.

And so the fight began. Kabir was glad that he was on Khalid's right side and therefore, wasn't technically leaving him unguarded but at the same time, he knew that he was slowing Khalid down and forced himself to stand on his legs and fight alongside Khalid, each of them having the other's back.

The others around had started to stir from the commotion and Kabir shot at the ropes to free them and they quickly joined the fray and soon, they'd subdued everyone and panting for breath. Kabir could feel his body aching and he probably has a concussion, judging the way he is still feeling unsteady and the throbbing from his head.

He glanced around at everyone, all of them sporting cuts and bruises and some bleeding and was sure that they will need to visit a hospital son. But then his eyes landed on Khalid, who was starting to sway and stagger and Aditi cried out in alarm, causing Kabir to step forward to look at what was wrong. But before he could even reach him, he had his arms full if the said person, unconscious. It was then he noticed the stab wound that was slowly bleeding out and well... he was in a really bad shape and needed medical help immediately.

Kabir swore as he called out to Saurabh, asking him to help support Khalid's weight as he knew he definitely wouldn't be able to carry him out on his own. Aditi supported Kabir from the other side, the rest of the team standing either in front of them or behind them. He vaguely heard one of them calling for evacuation and reporting the situation but was more concentrated on supporting Khalid and walking without tripping over.

By the time the evac team had arrived, Kabir was fighting blackspots and was struggling to stand upright even with the support of Aditi. His thigh was covered in blood and was throbbing badly and it gave out all of a sudden, he could hear Aditi's panicked shriek at the sudden shift in weight and Saurabh's cursing as he swiftly caught Khalid, who'd started to fall towards Kabir without the support on that side. The exhaustion hit him hard right then and he passed out as the shuffling of feet and shouts grew closer.

<Line Break>

Khalid was standing in front of him, his hand reaching out to him, his face still keeping that charming smile on his face, even though it was bloody, eyes alight with rage and relief and maybe love as he took in Kabir's situation, the gentle touches that seemed to send sparks across his body, the fluidity with which he moved while taking care that he was supporting Kabir and not letting him loose his balance.

The concern and care in his eyes when Kabir had silently shifted away to fight on his own, the protectiveness that showed through as they fought back to back. That trust when he saw him close his eyes as he slipped out of consciousness, his breath slowing down and then...

"Khalid" he shouted as he woke up suddenly, breathing ragged and his head throbbing and mushy, something was beeping in the background and soft voices that was saying something and Kabir tried to concentrate on that voice.

"...right sir, still hasn't regained consciousness but the docs say that he will soon. Khalid is fine sir, breathe slowly, that's it. Kuch nahi hua kisi ko. Everyone is hale and hearty" a feminine voice was telling him slowly and he slowed down his breathing and opened his eyes and groaned at the brightness of the place.

"Aditi?" he asked, his voice quite rough from the dryness. "You've been out for a day sir. All of us are faring better, with the exception of Khalid. Usko toh do hafte ka bed rest chaahiye. You're suffering from a concussion and a minor fracture in your arm... got seven stitches for that gash in your leg. Doctors say that you shouldn't strain yourself right now par... main jaantha hoon ki woh nahi hoga..." she said.

"Khalid wouldn't know what would hit him." Kabir said as a nurse entered to check his vitals and the other formalities... yeah, Khalid wasn't prepared at all for what was going to git him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Damn... my somewhat toughest chapter yet... the pre and post mission parts were tough to sketch out so... yeah. Hope you all liked it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts accepted!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published 27 April 2020


	7. Team Bonding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fluff, team bonding and heart to hearts.
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

Till now he'd only heard of the team's mother hen from the tales recounted by the team and now he was experiencing it first hand. And Khalid wouldn't admit it to anyone but... personally, Kabir as a mother hen is way more scarier than the Kabir he'd seen while he'd been bashing up everyone in the mission.

Yeah you heard it right. Major Kabir, the mother hen of the team was a person you would have to look out for... and defy his orders, you'll be smothered to death. He took the 'team is my family' thing very seriously. It was like he was witnessing a new side of Kabir right now, a caring side that would be quite impossible to imagine if you haven't experienced it.

After the initial scolding about how reckless he'd been and all that, he'd praised him for his work before scolding him again for not taking care of himself properly. And then it started. Since Kabir had gotten off the bed and Khalid was allowed to be discharged but to be at bed rest, let's just say that Kabir and the team had been beside him almost all the time, not letting him get off the bed and taking care of his every need, without taking any nos for an answer.

And Khalid was basking at the affection the team seems to shower him with, a care he'd only gotten from his mother till date. The way they are taking care of him reminds him of how his ammi used take care of him while he was sick or had come home with bruises blooming all over his body.

It was also quite overwhelming at times, not being used to these many people coddling over him, taking care of him... it was all like a new experience for him and he often had to swallow down his irritation and hold his tongue from lashing out at them to leave him alone for sometime as he didn't want to look like a person who's not appreciating the way the team is caring and loving him...

But it seems like Kabir understood what was going on in his mind and explains it to Khalid. "Main jaantha hoon ki you are feeling smothered aur tumhe tumhara privacy chaahiye. Par yeh team... we consider each other as family. Aur agar is parivaar mein kisi ko chhot lagi toh... everyone gets worried and thoda overboard jaayenge affection mein..." Kabir had said.

"You had us worried, you know. Teen din laga tha tumhe hosh aane mein... aur is team ke anusaar, you are the baby here, the newbie jo sabka dil churaliya. Get used to it, sabke saath yahi hota hai" he'd explained and left.

In the course of the bed rest, he'd often found himself sleeping on one of his team mate's lap at least once, a sleepover with all if them piling into his room on day one, one of them was caught spooning him from behind, some were caught sleeping on the chair while they were on watch duty... All in all, they even never let Khalid sleep alone and always kept him company all the time. 

And thus, the two weeks passed with the team slowly backing off Khalid, to let him do somethings by himself but strictly prohibited him from doing any strenuous job that might strain his injuries by the end of it.

By this time, Khalid was itching to get out and spend some time on his own, get his own alone time which the team hadn't given him with all the smothering and love they were showering on him.

And that's what he did. The minute he saw the opportunity, he grabbed it and sneaked out of the house without anyone noticing and just lay down under a nearby tree that was usually not visited, just taking in the solitude and nature that surrounded him, no noise from people chatting, no clanging of pans or clicking of the keyboard. Just the chirps from birds, the gentle breeze rustling the leaves and grass and the vast blue sky.

Khalid didn't know when he'd fallen asleep in the shade of the tree, but when he woke up, he definitely noticed the 3 figures looming above him with folded hands and stern, yet worried expressions on their faces. Though they did back away, expressions softening when he'd jerked up and curled upon himself with a slightly scared expression on his face, an instinctive reaction when his sleepy mind just registered the 3 intimidating people, not who they were.

Slowly, they'd sat down beside him and he forced himself to loosen up when he finally registered the fact that it was just the team, not any of the bullies back home and sighed, knowing that he was going to be scolded for worrying them.

He just pulled his legs towards himself and hugged them loosely, looking at his team with a guilty expression on his face before Saurabh just leaned forward and ruffled up Khalid's hair.

"Kya, tune socha ki hum tumhe daantenge baagh jaane ke liye? Agar tumne kisi se bola ki tumhe thodi dher ke liye akhela rehna hai, toh we would've agreed to it. Sabko pareshaan karke is tarah chupane ki kya zaroorat thi? Agar tumhe kuch hua hota toh?" he asked, taking in the surprised look Khalid was wearing.

"Woh.... its just that... saara din, koi na koi mera saath humesha hai jabse mein hospital se waapas aaya... and I just started to feel suffocated I guess, sone ka samay bhi mere saath koi hai... I was starting to miss my personal space I guess, thoda time akhela spend karne ka mann kar raha tha..." he said hesitantly.

"And if you'd told any one of us that you wanted to spend some time alone, you thought we wouldn't have given you that space huh? Itna buri nahi hai hum log. Agar tune hume bathaya hota ki you needed space, we would've gladly agreed to leave you alone. It's not a crime, nor is it showing that you are not appreciating the way we take care of you." Aditi said, guessing what must've been running in Khalid's mind.

"Aur haan, maine pehle hi bathaya tumhe ki tum is team ka baby ho, sabko tumhare ungli pe nachate ho. We will baby you, par iska matlab nahi hai ki we will violate your personal space. Woh yaad me rakna tum. We won't know what you are feeling unless you tell us Khalid." Kabir said, gently taking Khalid hand into his own, sending sparks through Khalid at the touch.

Khalid just looked at them as each of them made their statements and his eyes started to burn, he felt his guilt weighing him down at causing them this much worry and at his own stupidity. "Sorry" he said in a low voice as he looked down, chin resting upon his knees as he withdrew his hands from Kabir's, immediately missing the gentleness and warmth it had held.

"Aditi, Saurabh, tell the rest of them that we've found Khalid. I'll be back in a while. Lagtha hai ki isko aur samjana padega is sab ke baare mein." Kabir said and the others complied without any questions, leaving Kabir and Khalid alone.

Kabir turned back towards Khalid, silently waiting for him to put in the first words, taking in the expressions that shadowed across his face. "Khalid, mujhe dekh" he said softly after a while, guessing that he wasn't going to get any answers from him. But Khalid remained in the same position, without any reaction like he'd never heard what Kabir said.

"Khalid. Look at me, now" Kabir said with more emphasis and he immediately looked up, blinking as if he'd been lost to the world for quite a while. "Sir?" he asked, confused as to what was happening.

"Sorry kisi liye bola tune?" Kabir asked seriously, placing a hand on Khalid's knee. Khalid just stared back at Kabir with an eyebrow raised, as if the answer was obvious. Kabir just stared back, wanting to hear it from his mouth.

"Pareshaan karne ke liye sorry bola tha" he admitted after sometime, seeing that Kabir wasn't going to let him go without an answer.

"Khalid... iske liye sort bolne ka koi zaroorat nahi. It's our fault that you still don't seem to trust us, even though it has been months since you joined the team." Kabir said, taking in the conflict he was seeing on Khalid's face.

"But I trust you all sir... its just that, woh sab jo yeh two weeks mein hua... it was just overwhelming that..." Khalid paused, trying to collect his words, breathing slowly to calm himself down.

"It's just what?" Kabir prompted. "It's just... no one has taken care of me like this... sivaai ammi ka, and I just felt crowded when I wasn't left alone for a while... someone was always near me then... and I thought... if I'd told anyone about going outside to get some air... Shaayad koi mere peeche aayenge and I didn't want that..." he said as he looked down again, feeling ashamed for feeling that way. They were just taking care of him, worried about him. It's always something he'd been longing for... then why is he feeling that way right now?   
  
Kabir, like he'd sensed what Khalid was thinking, just lifted Khalid's head so that they met eye to eye and just tapped his cheek, just like that.

"Mujhe bhi waisa he laga tha jab maine pehli baar, isi tarah chhot ke saath bed rest mein tha. Tumhare baba aur humara team us samay mein... they babied me the same way, if not more. And I was taken aback by the love they were showering on me. Das saal ka tha jab I became an orphan... Maa toh choti umar mein hi.... mere baba when I was 10... I was definitely not used to it and I felt overwhelmed and tumhare tarah, and I hid myself in the jungle nearby in order to escape their love..." Kabir said with a chuckle.

"Par... I had underestimated how far I'd ventured into it and... I was lost. And then achanak someone started firing and honestly, I was scared... I had no arms, I was not in a condition to fight and luckily, someone had found me just in time varna..." he trailed off, remembering that day clearly. Khalid just listened quietly. It was very rare when someone recounted his dad in a somewhat positive light and he was sucking it up like a sponge.

"Abdul ne bohot daanta mujhe us din... Mere halaat mein akele, kisi ke paas na bholkar baahar jaana... from that day... I always have a rule that if ever one wants to venture outside, kisi ke paas zaroor bathana hai ki kahaan jaa rahe ho aur kisi liye... just in case we get into trouble, you know?" Kabir said and Khalid nodded, understanding where Kabir was going with this.

"Understood sir... agli baar na, main zaroor kisi ko bathane ki baath hi is tarah chup jaaunga" Khalid said with a small smile. "Good" Kabir said, ruffling Khalid's hair before standing up. "Thodi dher yahi rukna chaahoge ya mere saath andar aa rahe ho?" Kabir asked, only to look at the dreamy face Khalid was sporting, a light blush on his face. 

"Oi Khalid, maine tumhe kuch poocha" Kabir said with a laugh as he saw Khalid snap his head up and the blush becoming more pronounced. "Kuch dher yahi spend karke aaunga sir" he stuttered, resisting the urge to facepalm as he saw Kabir walk away with a nod. Damn, he definitely was falling hard and fast for that man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Started with something else on my mind but... it ended up this way. And anyways, I guess we all needed a break with whatever is going on around us... Hope you all like this chapter! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> UPDATED ON 2 MAY 2020


	8. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Nightmares and other things. Can get touch feely... and totally not my forte... so I hope it turned out all right.
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

The following days were light hearted and fun as the team tried and hilariously failed to get Kabir and Khalid together and were understandably frustrated at the UST between the two of them and sat down at the dining table to make further plans regarding the issue.

"Andhe hai kya un dono? I can literally see the lovey dovey eyes they are sending each other! How can a person be so oblivious?" Aditi exclaimed as she looked around the table.

"Aur kya kar sakthe hai hum, even if Kabir sir realised that he is in love with Khalid... he probably would try to forget about it under the name 'Work ethics' and start preaching about how two people on the same team can't fall in love with each other" Saurabh said, rolling his eyes.

"Koi thareeka hai kya un dono ko ek saath laane ke liye?" Prateek asked as he pointedly looked at Kabir, who'd been working his ass off for the past few days.

"Sir ko tum jaante ho. Pechle char dino se achchi tarah soye nahi hai. So he will crash hard... Khalid ko us samay sir ko bed leke jaana hai toh..." Aditi proposed.

"Hum sab jaante hai Koala Kabir ke baare mein... this is going to be good" Saurabh said with a grin as he looked back at Kabir, who was starting to nod off. Little did they know how that small exchange between the two of them will change all the dynamics in the team.

_Gunshots. That was what had made him turn his head, just in time to see a man with only one arm fall back, two bullets lodged into his eyes. Kabir had rushed forward to check upon him and the scenery changed, and he was shooting Abdul with hot anger coursing through him._

_"Ek Varun ke liye, ek uske liye" he'd thought as he'd shot Abdul in his eye and marked him dead as the pain of betrayal and anger seemed to fade into a numbness he couldn't explain._

_A girl and a women, hugging each other in fear of their lives, trying to run away from the scene and Kabir keeping their back, trying to protect them and bam, the next second, a bullet had shot through him and into the two women, killing them on the spot._

_A few boys were chasing him, claiming that if they managed to catch him, they'll do anything as they please... and they did, slowly stripping him off his clothes while laughing as he tried to hide himself, embarrassment causing his cheeks to flush and tears roll down his face as he thought of how his baba would be looking down at him right now for not trying to fight back._

_Another man, standing tall in front of him with a gun poised in front of him, ready to take the kill shot. The trigger was pulled, the bullet shot forward towards him..._

Kabir sat up, heaving heavily, trying to calm himself down as the tears streamed down his face. "Dammit" he muttered, rubbing a hand on his face. His dreams had never been this intense, barging through all his bad memories at the same time. Maybe staying up late for all those nights was a bad idea... He then froze when he felt a hand through his hair as he came to focus, someone was muttering something in a soothing, angelic voice that helped him relax immediately.

He slowly turned around and saw Khalid there, concern and worry shining in his eyes, silently scanning him and Kabir felt vulnerable, like he'd been stripped naked and was left alone in a room of monsters. He hastily wiped his tears and scooted away from Khalid, hating himself to be this vulnerable in front of him.

"Rona koi buri baath nahi hai, nor is asking for help" Khalid said as if he'd sensed Kabir's thoughts. Kabir just shook his head and tensed up more, hugging his knees and making himself as small as possible. Khalid took the first step and sat down beside Kabir, promptly pulling him so that he was half seated in his lap and hugged him.

"Shh, just let it out Kabir. Whatever it was, it is bad to bottle it up. Aap giroge toh main aapko pakad loonga. Promise, aapko main poori tarah girne nahi doonga" Khalid whispered in Kabir's ears and Kabir forced himself to relax and let out a deep breath, tears welling in his eyes again when he could feel the conviction and sincerity in his words.

And so, he let everything lose. It might not give him the closure he needs but, it at least will help him lighten the burden he'd been carrying for years... another steps towards healing he realised, the first step being accepting and taking in Khalid.

"Ab bologe ki kya hua?" Khalid asked after 15 minutes, seeing that Kabir's tears had stopped flowing and the sobs started to reduce.

"Tum kyon yahaan aaya?" Kabir asked in retaliation, not wanting to open up about it just yet. "Aditi ne kaha ki aap chair mein bhaite bhaite so rahe the aur she said that it was my turn so... aapko aapke bed thak lekar aaya maine. But then you started to mutter something and rone lage toh... aapko akhela chhodne ka man nahi laga..." Khalid admitted.

"Thank you" he whispered. Something about all this made his chest feel warm... like he was truly wanted by someone... like he was... nope, that's not possible, not going to go there he thought as he looked into Khalid's eyes, like a magnet attracting metal.

"Don't divert the topic. Why are you burying everything within yourself so much that it is hurting you even after years have gone by? Kya hua aapke saath?" Khalid asked, cupping Kabir's face.

"Abhi iske baare mein baath nahi karna hai mujhe... I don't want to Khalid. Please" Kabir said softly as he snuggled in closer to him.

"Par iske baare mein kisi ke saath baath nahi karna buri baath hai. Ammi humesha kehti thi. If you just bury your pain, it will hurt you back 10 times more. Share karne se bhoj halka ho jaati hai. Toh phir bolo, what was the dream about. Details math kaho abhi ke liye, just basics. Details baad mein discuss karenge" Khalid compromised.

"Agar tum tumhare baare mein kcuh personal baath kahoge, mein apne baare mein kahunga. Deal?" Kabir asked and Khalid accepted.

"Tumhare baba ek wajah tha is nightmare ke liye." Kabir said shortly, not wanting to elaborate it right now. "Abbu se itne nafrat kyon karte ho aap? I mean, he was a backstabber but... why couldn't you get over it?" Khalid asked curiously.

"He killed my partner aur mujhe goliyaan maari..." Kabir said and Khalid just raised his eyebrow, knowing that it wasn't the full story.

"And the third reason?" Khalid asked. "Please, uske baare mein ab math poocho. Waqt aane par main tumhe batha doonga" Kabir pleaded and Khalid conceded, the emotion in his eye so raw that he couldn't refuse the plea.   
  
"Meri baari... Agar ammi nahi hoti, I probably would't be standing here at all... I had such a low self esteem ki ek baar, maine almost suicide kardiya jab woh bullying reached its peak... Ammi ko bhi yeh baath patha nahi hai" Khalid confessed and rolled his pant up to show all the self harm marks that'd accumulated over the years.

"I've stopped cutting for a while par... us samay, I couldn't stand the look of myself" he said as he rolled down the pant again. Kabir just hugged him more fiercely as Khalid just ran his hands through Kabir's hair. 

The two of them then looked at each other quite intensely, a storm of emotions brewing and clashing in their eyes, trying to take in what they were feeling, experiencing right then and Khalid leaned forward towards Kabir and Kabir just stared at Khalid. 

The pale moonlight highlighting his face, making the cuts look more sharp, the love that seemed to be radiating from him, the way the other hand sneaked around him and was now slowly rubbing circles on his back... and Kabir just closed his eyes and basked under the ministrations that were slowly lulling him to sleep. Khalid just stopped close near Kabir's ear and whispered "Is it ok if I kiss you?" and pulled back so that he could see the reaction of Kabir.

Kabir just nodded, not registering what Khalid had asked and Khalid, sensing this, refrained himself from pecking those pink lips, even though it seemed luring. Instead, he noticed Kabir's breath slowing down, the worry lines and anxiety vanishing to leave behind a serene and calm looking man, his face shining in the dim moonlight that poured through a small gap in between the curtains and he smiled, wishing that he could take a photo of this Kabir in front of him, one with no worries or problems.

A small part of his mind wishes that he could wake up with this sight everyday and the last thing he sees every night but Khalid just shakes his head and diverts the kiss so that he can gently place it on Kabir's forehead and slowly lowers Kabir onto the pillow before making a move to go back to his own bed, assuming that Kabir had fallen asleep when an arm catches his own.

"Ab kya?" Khalid asks gently, giving him a soft smile as Kabir stared at him with dopey eyes. "Aaj yahi so jaao na?" Kabir asked sleepily. "Agar tum mere saath ho toh lagtha hai ki..." he trails off, claimed by his desperate need to sleep. Khalid gently makes Kabir to scoot over to make some space and lays down beside Kabir, who immediately latches into him and pulls him closer. Seems like he's going to be trapped by Koala Kabir tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy mother's day!! Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome! The next chapter will be out soon.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 10 May 2020


	9. Confrontations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: In short... well, whatever the title says...
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is NOT my First or Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

When Kabir woke up, the first thing he realised was the fact that he was holding onto something that radiated a comforting heat. Then he realised that whatever he was holding let out small puffs of warm air on his neck, sending shivers down his spine as he looked down and realised that Khalid had decided to stay over for the night due to a silly request he'd made that night.

He couldn't help but stare at Khalid, run a hand through his hair, imagining of what it'd be like to wake up to this everyday... the cute huffs he often let out while breathing and a sense of peace washed over him at the moment he found himself in, and he cherished it. 'Oh I'm so in love with him' Kabir thought with a smile, unconsciously as he took in the still sleeping Khalid.

But all good things doesn't last long and Kabir was snapped back to the present as he felt Khalid stirring and he immediately rushed to the bathroom and locked himself in there after gently untangling himself off Khalid.

He was breathing hard and chiding himself as he stared at the mirror in front of him, hands trembling from the aftershocks of the nightmare and the sudden realisation of having slept, _'platonic, not sexually'_ his mind helpfully supplied,with Khalid. And now there was an inner turmoil going in his brain was totally not helping him calm down.

 _'He's your teammate Kabir! How can you think like that?'_ 'As long as it doesn't affect work its fine no?' _'Us gaddar Abdul ka beta hai woh, romance karoge kya usse?'_ 'Par woh uske abbu ki tarah nahi hai...' _'Kya patha? Woh Sundar ke tarah nikla toh?'_ 'Khalid uski tarah nahi hai.' Kabir thought, stubbornly refusing to go there.

 _'Arey, relationship mein rehkar kya faaida hoga tumhe, woh bhi ek din tumhe chhod kar chala jaayega akela.'_ 'Then I'll take what he gives me till then' _'But do you deserve it?'_ the traitorous part of him whispered as he removed his shirt, staring at the scars that have accumulated over the years. 

They also seemed to stare back at him, taunt him of what has happened over the course of all these years. His eyes particularly caught on the bullet marks, ignoring the network of cuts and scratches that covered his front, knowing that the back was in a worse state.

'Do I really deserve him? Do I have the right to snatch away the innocence he has retained? Do I have to give him more unnecessary burden to carry in the form of my mental health? My issues and my inability to handle them?' Kabir thought with a frown as he stared at the 4 bullets that marked the 3 changing points of his life. 2 courtesy of Abdul Rahmani, the other two courtesy of Iliyasi... one dead, one alive and both haunting him for life.

Splashing water on his face to clear his thoughts, he came to a decision. And with that the mission "Stay away from Khalid" was born, which of course was backed up with its own problems and issues for he forgot to consider two things:

A) Khalid was going to be around him the whole day, be it training or team bonding, and the only time he can avoid him was during bathroom breaks or while napping. And often he had to stop himself from staring at Khalid when he was working out, he swore he saw a smirk on his face whenever Khalid caught him staring at him.

B) After whatever had happened last night, Khalid seemed to be onto him the whole time, wanting to know more about him. He was respectful enough to give him some space when the others were around and when they were alone, Kabir found it hard to brush Khalid off and make up excuses to avoid him, finding it hard to resist what he was now dubbing as the "Khalid charm"

And he had to give it to Khalid. That boy can be damn persistent when he wants to be. He could see that Khalid was starting to notice the fact that he was trying to avoid him, making him doubly persistent and frustrated to approach and talk to him.

Honestly, he did not want to share whatever he went through with anyone. He hated talking about it completely and even opening up a little bit to Khalid that day had been a huge mistake on his part, being emotionally compromised. He didn't want anyone to hear his story and look at him like he was a fragile doll that will break in if touched, sending all those pitying looks.

No one deserved to share his pain, something that will only end up weighing upon the person who hears it and he doesn't want that for anyone. And he'll try to let it stay that way for as long as he can.

But it also hurt him to see Khalid hurting because he was avoiding him. But he felt that it was necessary as Khalid definitely deserved more than a man who was fractured and is surrounded by so much negativity in his head. Yes, one might say that he should leave the decision for Khalid to make... but he really didn't want to destroy the purity Khalid had in him with his tainted soul.

And well... letting his guard down that one night had turned his life upside down. The shields he'd built up are slowly cracking, he can feel all those emotions bubbling and ready to spill over the edge and he's scared that he'd snap at someone for no reason or take the wrong decision in thus compromised state and it takes every drop of his will power to not have a breakdown or an unreasonable tantrum.

He just rubbed his face in frustration as the screen started to blur again, his eyes begging for some rest but these reports are to be submitted tomorrow and he just couldn't let it lag behind due to the fact that he'd been a bit distracted over the past few days...

That night when Kabir had a nightmare had made Khalid get up his hopes that maybe, just maybe, Kabir would open up to him, maybe even love him back. But that hope slowly started to crash as he saw that Kabir had started to avoid him ever since. And it was in this sulking state the team caught him a few days later.

"Arey, ab tu kya kar rahe ho! Jaa aur baath kar Kabir sir se!" Aditi said. "Unko uska space chaahiye na... isiliye kar raha hai is tarah..." Khalid trailed off as he saw the deadpan expressions on their faces.

"Abbey saale, Kabir sir doesn't do emotions much. Jab se tum aaye ho, we all can see that he's fallen for you, and hell, the reason he's actually avoiding you can be for that alone..." Aditi said and Khalid blinked, not getting the head or tail of what she'd said.

"Achcha look, Kabir sir... All of us are always given the fact that he's had a terrible past, but he's never talked about it to anyone at all. He's the master of bottling up emotions. But right now? Especially with you around, he's slowly coming out of the cocoon. But whatever happened that day when you carried sir to bed... it seems to be making him close off again, even though it is hurting the both of you. Go and talk with him. You are probably the only one who can bring him the peace of mind he needs. That guy is literally in the verge of an overload from bottling up and he definitely needs someone beside him in these times" Saurabh explained.

"There's something that is eating Kabir up Khalid... and it is not good for him, at all. So please, try and talk to him. All of us have tried and remained unsuccessful in this... we just hope that you can get through Kabir's thick skull." Aditi said and Khalid nodded. It was also time he got the answers to his questions.

So he took the chance and went in search of Kabir, definitely not ready to take no for an answer. "Kabir, we need to talk." Khalid stated bluntly as he barged into the office.

"Khalid, ab nahi." he replied curtly as he typed something, not even taking note of Khalid who was standing beside him. "Please sir... zaroori baath hai" he requested, mellowing down a bit.

"Khalid, please not now" Kabir said, desperately trying not to lash out his frustration. "Par sir..." "Don't you bloody understand the meaning of 'Not Now' Khalid? Please leave me alone for a while. I have to finish this and I have postponed it long enough already." he gritted out and immediately regretted it as he saw the look of defeat and hurt that shone through.

"Khalid..." "It's ok sir, I'll head out" he said meekly as he went outside, leaving Kabir to contemplate on what he'd just done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok... that wasn't where I intended to leave the chapter but... I had to stop it somewhere *shrugs* Kabir's back story up next! Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 17 May 2020


	10. Heart to Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Touchy feely talkies between the lover boys! And man I seem to be a sucker for Kabir having issues... and idk if it's good or bad.
> 
> Warning : Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so please forgive me for any mistakes. And please don't get mad at my attempt at typing Hindi, it is not my First OR Second language so I am prone to make mistakes.

Quickly turning to finish up the report as he thought about everything, he sighed, knowing that he must come to terms with it and stop avoiding things.

Kabir opens the door and silently enters the room, welcomed by the sobs and mumblings of Khalid. "Khalid, I'm sorry uske liye. Thoda pareshaan tha us samay par... I shouldn't have blown up for that..." Kabir admitted slowly as he sat down in front of Khalid.

"Maine kuch galat kiya hai kya?" Khalid asked suddenly as he snapped his head towards Kabir, showing his puffed up eyes that'd started turning red. "Tune kuch nahi kiya." Kabir said as he went to wipe off the tears, only for Khalid to flinch as he moved away from Kabir.

"Toh phir kyon? Maine kuch galat kaha aapse? Main phir wohi galti math karonga. Par yeh avoiding wala cheeze math kigiye, I can't bear it if you keep his up anymore. Aap jaante ho? Iske pehle, I didn't have anyone to call my acquaintance, let alone a friend or a lover. Gaddar ke beta hone ka side effect. Ammi ke sivaay koi nahi tha mere liye. But then this team changed everything. For the first time I'm treated as an equal, and I have these many friends... I feel like I'm wanted for once. But you doing this to me... I can't Kabir. It's just..." he said as he took in a deep breath to collect his thoughts.

"For the first time I experienced any love other than my mother's love. Iske pehle all I'd received the most were hate and indifference. Itni mili ki main suicide karne ke liye soch raha tha. But... this love I have for you is... a pleasant kind of different, the I want to live with you my whole life type of different. Aur main is pyaar ko aapke aankhon mein bhi dekh saktha hoon. But you are denying it and frankly, hurting me along with it. Either say you love me or you don't. Don't send mixed signals and get my hopes up high." he said and Kabir wanted to say something to stop Khalid from spiralling down when Khalid just put a finger over his lips.

"Let me finish it. Maybe I'm overstepping the line but... we all are worried about you sir. Me, Aditi, Saurabh, Prateek, Colonel Sunil... everyone are worried about when you'll succumb or explode from all the pain and trauma you've gone through and whether you will recover from it so please! And I can't see you suffer. You have a lot of pain you've buried inside you and now, it's asking for its freedom. As ammi said, burying the past leads to more pain. Aur baantne se woh bojh halka ho jati hai. I just want to help you but..." he trailed off, breathing heavily and shuddering from the outburst.

Kabir slowly approached Khalid and hesitantly pulled him into a hug, hoping that it would calm him down. He didn't know that his actions had bothered everyone to this extent. Had it always been like this? Had the notion of him bottling up his emotions always had people worried this much?

He looked down at Khalid, who'd started to calm down a little. But was facing his demons worth burdening people he was close with? Was he worth it for them? Was this the right thing to do?

Khalid, as if looking at Kabir's conflict, gently cupped his face and said "Kabir, tumhara dard baantne se kisi ko kuch nahi hoga. We are ready to share your burden with open arms if it will help you. Yeh bojh nahi hai humare liye. And you deserve it, no matter what you think about yourself." Khalid said softly and Kabir took a deep breath, contemplating on what he should do.

"Do you really want me to go there? You might not like where it's going" Kabir asked, his resolve crumbling and his walls coming down, giving a chance for Khalid to back down.

"Haan, I want to know everything about you. What has happened to you that you are like this today? Why don't you want to share your feelings with anyone? Why are you soo... distant and closed up?" Khalid asked.

"Mera back story jaanna hai na? Toh main batatha hoon. If you don't want to listen to any part of it, I will understand." Kabir said and Khalid nodded as he moved away from Kabir a little bit so that he can give him the space he'd need.

"Mera toh ek chota family tha. Main mera maa aur mera baba. Baba toh army mein the, maa ek teacher... we were content. Par maa toh choti umar mein hi guzar gayi. Baba us samay tour pe the toh... humare padosan ne mera khayaal rakha. But this tour also turned out to be his last one. Honourably discharged the due to the loss of an arm. Par hum dono bohot kush the humare zindagi se. Woh ek sports instructor ban gaye ek school mein. Dus saal tak sab kuch sahi tha. When I was 10, my world turned upside down." Kabir narrated.

"I was just coming home from school. Bazaar se guzar raha tha when I heard it, the telltale sound of bullets. I turned towards the noise of the commotion immediately to see what was happening. And guess who'd been shot? My freaking dad, who was fucking retired and just wanted to spend time with his son. And that was not all. He'd been... he'd been drowning in his blood by the time I reached the place!" Kabir said as he placed his head on his hands, pulling at his hair. Khalid just placed a hand on Kabir's leg to help him calm down.

"Us saale ke baare mein abhi chhod do. I promise I'll tell you about it later. Uske baad I was sent to an orphanage as I had no living relatives who were interested in taking me in. And that came with its on problems. Ragging, teasing, bullying, harassing... you name it, it was there. Jo bhi mujse bade the, they made me run and if they caught me... well, you should know what happened." he said with a shrug.

"The minute I became 18, I ran away aur yahaan aaya. All these years of running and harassment had its effect on me and gave me the physique needed to join. Training mein one of the toppers tha, they put me in your dad's group. And he had a very good rep and I looked upto him back then. Everyone used to praise that your dad, Varun and I were a well oiled machine, understanding each other's thoughts and all. We worked well together. " he said and watched as Khalid just nodded along.

"This was for 5 years and then I was pulled out of the roots with that one mission. We were told to capture some guy. Tumhara abbu ne uske saath kaam kar raha tha. Pakad jaane ka dar se mera partner ko maarkar mujhe bhi maarne ki koshish kiya, saare plans boast karna shuru kiya." Kabir said, his tone gaining a bitter edge to it.

"Us din, jab tune poocha why I couldn't get over the fact that your baba betrayed me, maine kaha ki it was because the he killed my partner aur mujhe goliyaan maari. Aur tune kaha ki ek aur wajah thi." Kabir said and Khalid nodded, not wanting to interrupt.

"Par teesri kaaran... koi nahi jaantha. For the first time, I'm telling this to anyone... main iske pehle poori report nahi diya kisi ko is mission ke baare mein." Kabir said slowly as he faced Khalid, pain evident in his eyes.

"Tumhara abbu ne mujhe goli maarne ke baad kuch confess kiya. And that still gives me nightmares to this day." Kabir said as he closed his eyes, remembering each and every word clearly.

_"Aur haan" Abdul leans down towards the fallen Kabir. "Ek baath batane ko bhool gaya maine. Humesha bolthe the na, ki tum tumhara baap ka khooni ki patha dhoond raha hai. Woh main hi hoon. Retirement ke baad tumhara baap mere peeche pada tha. Isi liye maine usko maar diya, do goli, do aankhen. Maine hi unko maara" he said and moved backwards with a smirk on his face and Kabir could feel the anger and shock course through him as he renewed the efforts to take the gun, just to shoot him._

_"Do goli, do aankhen." he whispered to himself as he lifted it up with trembling hands and fired it, right on spot as the bullet hit one eye. "Just to be safe" he said and sat up with all the strength he had and shot the other eye as tears rolled down his eyes, mourning his dad and the pain from both the betrayal and the wound gave him._

Kabir wiped away the tears that were flowing freely and took a shuddering breath, trying to come out of the memory and looked into Khalid's eyes, which were shining with curiosity and concern.

"Kya hua ki it is hurting you even after all these years? Why can't you seem to get over what he did?" Khalid asked softly, speaking for the first time after his outburst.

"Kyon ki it's not something you can ever forget Khalid. Maine tumhara baap ko maara, but you could accept it kyon ki tumhe pehle se hi patha tha ki maine hi unko maar dala, gaddari ke liye. You can understand that it was duty." Kabir said and Khalid nodded, because it was true. It took some time to accept as he had been a small boy when it happened but as years passed, and he understood what had been at stake and started looking up to Kabir.

"Par main? Unhon ne mere baap ko maara, retirement ke baad, just because he was suspecting him aur usko dar tha ki baba will expose his true colours. And he bloody confesses it when he believed that I couldn't do anything to him." Kabir half shouted in frustration as his vision blurred again and Khalid stared in shock, unable to believe it.

"Aaj thak yaad hai, word to word. 'Ek baath batane ko bhool gaya maine. Retirement ke baad, tumhara baap mere peeche pada tha. Isi liye maine usko maar diya, do goli, do aankhen. Maine hi unko maara' bola tha unhone. Agar usne yeh baath nahi bathaya hota, toh shaayad I would've just knocked him off and arrested him. But revenge is a great motivator. Do goli, do aankhen, maine maar diya unko. Par woh dard, kabhi nahi gaya mujse" Kabir finished, voice bitter and cracked as he started sobbing, finally getting it out of his chest.

Khalid, not knowing what to say just pulled Kabir into a hug, allowing him to let out everything. He just couldn't believe that he'd held this back for all these years, holding it in until it just burst out, unable to be held inside any longer. He just couldn't help but wonder how much guilt and agony was buried inside him.

"Ab theek hai kya?" Khalid asked when he saw Kabir starting to calm down. Kabir just nodded into Khalid's chest and snuggled in a bit more. "Why did you want to avoid me?" Khalid asked.

"I don't deserve you... and you deserve better than a broken man with a boatload of issues" Kabir muttered. "Par kyon aisa soch rahe ho aapke baare mein? You are perfect as you are. Mujhe aur koi nahi chaahiye." Khalid said.

"You don't know Khalid... I am a bad luck sign for relationships. Look at what has happened. Koi bhi relation rakna chaaha, woh mar jaathe hai, ya phir peet pe maar kar chala jaata hai. You don't want me to spoil your life too" he said in a low voice.

"Aap kyon is tarah sochte ho? Don't you trust me? Why do you think so lowly about yourself? You deserve everything and more. Don't deny yourself that. Pyaar ko mana karna bura hota hai." Khalid said.

"Aur humara profession mein pyaar toh hanikarak hai, jaan le bhi saktha hai. Yeh do goliyaan hai na?" Kabir asked as he removed his shirt and pointed at the two bullet scars. "Wohi iska proof hai."

"Par kya hua? Iske peeche kya hai kahaani?" "Batatha hoon, wait karna. Yeh koi mission ke kaaran nahi hua. Ironically, chutti pe tha us samay. Aur dono ki wajah, Iliyasi. Pehla goli ek Sundar ke wajah se hua. He was just someone is was hanging out with... pyaar nahi thi par... we had a comradeship if you say. Phir patha chala ki woh Iliyasi ka aadmi tha, mujhe maarne ke liye aaya tha. He confessed that while saying that he fell in love with me in the process and well... he couldn't finish the mission, saala toh off the mark shoot kiya, maine usko maar diya."

"Doosri thi Naina. A bad ass single mother. We'd initially met during a mission, I was targeting to use her as a civilian asset but... somewhere along the way, usko patha chala iske baare mein aur help karne ke liye accept kiya. In the end, uska zaroorat nahi padi. We kept contact for a few months before I got a week off, so we decided to meet up and discuss on where we were heading, our relationship. Mauka nahi mila kyon ki Iliyasi planted a bomb in that place and a sniper. I tried my best to protect her and her daughter but... sniper tha na? The bullet went through me and into both Naina and her daughter, Ruhi. Dead on the spot par main bach gaya. So... I'm not... I can't..." Kabir said with a sad smile.

"Waqt chaahiye na aapko?" Khalid asked knowingly. "I don't think I can ever move on Khalid... and aadha pyaar hi de saktha hoon main, and you deserve more than that." Kabir said.

"Koi bhi poori tarah move on nahi kar saktha Kabir. Aadha pyaar doge toh I happily accept it as that will be a sign of you healing from your past struggles and looking forward to a new start. Hum sab aapke saath hai. Just... take some time to give it a thought. You deserve this Kabir. You very much deserve it" Khalid said as he placed a kiss on Kabir's forehead and moved down to place one on Kabir's cheek, only for Kabir to turn and unknowingly, their lips met and they froze at the sudden contact and pulled back, blinking at each other with shock.

"Maybe it's probably the best if I go out now?" Kabir asked awkwardly. "If you feel uncomfortable, then maybe yes. I don't want to uncomfortable in any way. Waqt chaahiye toh bol dena. Agli baar avoid math karna." Khalid said with a smile, though he was slightly disappointed when Kabir started to shift off him.

"I'll think about it" Kabir said with a curt nod and walked out of the room, leaving Khalid to contemplate on how exactly things are going to go from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fun fact, I'd actually started writing this chapter when I was writing the first chapter... and made the necessary changes as I wrote the other chapters. Just hoping I didn't take it overboard. One more chapter left *freaks out*
> 
> Hope you all like it! All comments and criticism accepted and appreciated! Any prompts are welcome!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 20 May 2020


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The final chapter! 
> 
> Warning: Auto corrects and typos are always behind my back so sorry for any mistakes. Also Hindi is not my First or Second language so I'm prone to make mistakes. And the predictive text decided to go wanky so... The usually registered words aka hinglish words and names (Idk why but Khalid always becomes Khalifa and Kabir becomes Katie or Kaur) are well... erased and not getting registered back so... There might be a lot more typos than expected. I usually try to see and correct them but... yeah

Since that heart to heart session, it seemed like the dynamics had shifted quite drastically. Whatever tension was there between Kabir and Khalid seemed to have vanished overnight, judging by the way they were moving around each other without any wary glances or hesitant steps.

The team, though initially disappointed that their ship still hasn't sailed, were more happy with the fact that Kabir had started opening up to them, narrating incidents from his past missions a bit freely than before.

"Khalid is doing good for him" Aditi muttered. "He sure is. Just waiting for them to sail the ship..." Saurabh muttered back as he saw the two of them chatting away with ease as they cooked. Everything had become livelier after the whole discussion it seems, even though they don't know what exactly happened in there.

"Vacation hai na? Zaroor us samay they will get together." Aditi challenged. "Ek aur step le chalte hai isko... Khalid will invite Kabir to his home this time." Saurabh said. "Taking it a notch higher, Khalid ki Ammi will walk in on them." Prateek said.

This didn't mean that the team left the two of them to their own devices and take it at their own pace. They often tried to push the two of them together, causing embarrassing situations for the two in question. Or they would often catch the two of them in weird positions while they slept together, sometimes on the couch, sometimes on the floor... and they made sure to save some pics and tease them with it later.

Not only the team, Kabir and Khalid themselves noticed the change as the days went by. Kabir had stopped avoiding Khalid and was actively seeking him out, often caught staring at him and the blush that rose when he found out that he was caught staring...

The same could be said for Khalid, if not worse. He'd openly started flirting with Kabir, but at the same time tried to stay within the limits and give Kabir the space he needed instead of forcing himself onto him. Kabir's recovery was the first priority after all.

Another thing had been the fact that the two of them often found themselves in the other's room whenever they had difficulty sleeping... so much so that, in the end they decided to sleep on their own beds in alternate days. Aka, they will sleep in Kabir's room one day and in Khalid's room the next. And this is turning out to be beneficial for them as they seem to be getting enough rest and not much nightmares that way. And if they have any heart to hearts... that's their wish.

And after a long time, the team had got its vacation, even if it was for a week which was coinciding with Eid... and everyone was jubilant to pack up, getting ready to head back home. And Kabir stood in a corner, watching all of them running about the place, filling up forms and reports before quickly getting distracted by either a phone call from their parents or packing.

"Sir, aap kahaan ja rahe ho is chutti pe?" Aidti asked. "Kahi nahi, I'll be staying here, as usual" Kabir replied with a smile. "Par kyon? Family, girlfriend... kuch bhi?" Saurabh asked.

"Na, koi nahi hai mere liye. But that's not a big deal, mujhe aadat hogai hai akele yahaan time spend karne mein, some free time away from all you brats is always appreciated" Kabir said with a teasing smile.

The team discreetly looked at Khalid, who'd stopped in his tracks and was staring at Kabir, contemplating on something before turning back to whatever he was doing. "Kya ghoor ghoor kar dekh rahe ho mujhe? Apna kaam karlo sab" Kabir chided as he saw them all staring at him.

Later that night, Kabir and Khalid were sitting back to chest, Khalid curled up into a ball on Kabir's lap while he hugged him tight. "Kya soch rahe ho?" "Ammi ne call kiya. Aapko Eid ke liye bulaya hai is baar. Aaoge na?" Khalid asked as he stared at him.

Kabir just stared at him in shock, a frown taking over that soft smile he had on his face. "Tumhari ammi mujhe?" he asked in confusion. "Haan, saare team ko bulayi par... They were all heading to their own homes so..." Khalid asked.

"Par kyon? I mean, maine unki pati ko maara aur... I thought she hates me..." Kabir asked hesitantly. "Um... actually not, nafrat nahi karti hai aapse. Yeah, she did resent you for a while but... uske baad unho ne hi kaha ki it is better that Kabir killed him off. Haan, humare upar yeh daag hai abhi... woh ek din shaayad mit jaayega. But if he'd been alive... Our situation would've been worse. That's what she said." Khalid said.

"Par..." "No, you are not imposing on us. Na hi maine unko convince kiya tumhe bulane ke liye. Unki marzi thi aapko bulane ke liye." Khalid confirmed.

"I don't think it is that simple Khalid. And no, this is not about the whole chakkar about your dad killing mine... its just that... usi ne kaha ki... the last time I met her, she wanted me to get out of your lives... Ok, don't give me that look. Jaantha hoon, jab se tune mera team join kiya, it flew out of the window" Kabir amended when Khalid turned to glare at him.

"But still... I just..." "Tum ammi se darte ho kya?" Khalid interrupted and Kabir stares at him with an incredulous look on his face and Khalid had to stifle a laugh at how adorable it looked on him.

"Um... no? But I think she's a force to be reckoned with, judging by the way tumhe unhone bada kiya, taking all those jeers and taunts and still moving on... A very strong woman with equally strong morals, that's what she is." Kabir said with a smile.

"Tum ammi ko pehle mil chuke hai kya?" Khalid asked curiously as he snuggled back into Kabir a bit more. "Mil chuka hoon unse pehle bhi. First time when she came to meet Abdul kuch baath karne ke liye. The next time as when I had taken up he responsibility to inform about Abdul's death and betrayal to her. Uske baad I used to see her here and there... but I kept my distance." Kabir said, resting his head on Khalid's shoulder.

"Toh phir ab kyon aane ke liye mana kar rahe ho aap? Ek chance dijiye na? And anyways, aap yahaan akele Eid celebrate karne ke wajah hume wahaan join karenge. The more the merrier, right?" Khalid asked.

Kabir just hummed and shifted a little like he was contemplating on what he was going to do. "I am not trying to push you Kabir. It is completely your choice in the end. None of us will be offended if you aren't willing to come over. Mujhe bas ye baath pasand nahi hai ki tum yahaan akela time spend karoge jab hum sab..." Khalid admitted.

"Khalid, mujhe dekh" Kabir said softly as he loosened his arms, allowing Khalid to turn around and shifted about so that they both were comfortably seated face to face. "Ab suno. You don't need to feel guilty about it. mujhe aadat padgay hai akele chutti ko bitane keliye. But I'll think about it if it eases your mind." Kabir promised as he looked into Khalid's eyes, sealing the deal.

And that's how they found themselves at the doors of Khalid's home, waiting for Nafeesa to arrive. "Arey yaar! Ammi toh chabi unke saath le gayi even though I told her when I would be coming!" he said, slapping his forehead.

"Toh yahi wait karlete na? Itna sundar view bhi hai yahaan se." Kabir said as he planted his ass on the ground, dragging the whining Khalid alongside him. Khalid grumbled for a few seconds before relaxing into the hold and sighed, taking in the view of this home after a very long time.

"Looks like a great place with lots of memories" Kabir said as he looked around. "Haan, you can say that" Khalid agreed as he looked back at Kabir, who was leaning forward.

"Soch raha tha... maybe I'll take you up on your offer" he whispered and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before backing away, leaving a stunned Khalid staring at him.

"Really?" he asked hopefully, wanting a verbal conformation. "I think I'm ready" Kabir said with a smile and Khalid leaned forward. "I'd been waiting for this for a long time" he whispered as he closed the gap between their lips, hands slowly tracing lines on their faces and body as the kiss deepened, not noticing the shadow that was nearing them.

"What. Is. Going. On. Here" came a stern voice, causing them to break it up and look above them, just to find Nafeesa hovering above them. "Shit"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that's the end of that! Well... This should've been out for Eid but.... was feeling a but low then (read drowsy as hell but no chance of sleeping) so... got a bit delayed. 
> 
> This wasn't how I originally wanted to conclude the fic but... considering the fact that I'd changed the plot a bit in the middle of the fic, the ended up this way.
> 
> Thank you all for the support you gave throughout the fic : ) Hope you all like it! All comments and criticisms accepted and appreciated! Prompts are welcome!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!!!!!!
> 
> Rasnak signing off :) ;)
> 
> Published on 27 May 2020


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